comedian Alibaba expressed
his views on the challenges
single mothers in Nigeria face
and how they can overcome
these challenges.
Read the article below:
Every now and then, I meet and
get messages, from ladies, who
either lost their jobs, widowed,
pregnant and no job, the guy
who impregnated them
absconded, or is around but
doesn't give a hoot, or working
but can't meet the financial
demands of raising kids on
their own, or the guy agreed to
having the babies and to
support with their upkeep…
But things happened and he
couldn't come through with the
promised support.Single
mothers are increasing in
numbers consequent on one or
two of the reasons mentioned
above. And this always makes
me ask, is it not possible to
avoid being caught up in some
of these tough situations? I
know its impossible to know if
you will be a widow and left
with 2 or 3 kids to raise by
yourself, as a mother. But
when it happens, what is the
solution?
Some ladies just want to have
kids, because they attended a
birthday party and they saw
Kemi with her 2 lovely kids.
They also know Kemi has no
visible source of income. Wake
up!!!!! Kemi has sources of
income. Ruff n Tumble
DOESNT dash kids clothes
weekly… To be honest, you
don't want to know what she
does to make those kids look
desirable enough to make you
want to have yours. Maybe
Kemi has a job. Maybe she has
a rich husband. Or maybe she
has a loaded boyfriend. Saved
up wealth. She could be the
"saving grace" of a guy who
has been looking for a child.
She may have rich parents. She
could be a surrogate mum. Who
bore the kids and is caring for
the kids for the true parents….
Maybe, just maybe…
But, hey, nobody can stop you
from wanting to have your own
child or children. You ought to.
And if they don't come
naturally, adopt. There is no
issue with that. Only problem
is, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
TO PREPARE YOU FOR THE
CHILD OR CHILDREN YOU
PLAN TO BRING INTO THE
WORLD? What are your plans
towards taking care of them as
they grow… Knowing that it
cost more to bring a child up
now than it did when our
parents had us. That is not to
say it was any easy on our
parents. But hey, kids' fees
these days for a single school
term, is a total of alllllllllllllll
our primary up to university
fees, plus allowances.
So lets say your bobo agrees to
you getting pregnant. And you
got pregnant. And he bails on
you. What will you do? Lets
even suppose you have a job.
What will you do when you
resume after your maternity
leave… Good Nannies cost a
lot. Bad nannies even cost
more. Minimum subscription
for a nanny now is about 25k…
That DOESNT include her
upkeep and consumables… Abi
she no go dey chop for the
house?
Okay… Before you guys begin
to say WHATS ali baba's own
sef… Let me just say, I get
whatsapp, twitter, Facebook
and text messages from single
ladies who are pregnant or
have kids, but do not know what
to do to take care of
themselves, not to mention the
kid or kids they have… Because
of some of the reasons I
mentioned in my first
paragraph. I have helped
when I could and advised when
it's advice they want. But, with
the access and opportunities
social media has opened up,
these request for assistance
based on the challenges of
raising kids by single mothers,
have become a regular feature
in my inbox, DM, whatsapp
and even one on one.
So I ask again, what can single
ladies do, that will prepare
them for when the kids come
and there is no bobo, sugar
daddy, father, husband or the
equivalent… Or do to support
what she earns even when there
is such a person who is a
significant other?
DONT get me wrong o… There
are ladies who can hold their
own and even still put the guy
who they are with on a monthly
allowance. They are not
"among of" what I am about
here. So zip it.
I know someone will think I
have nothing to do, that's why I
am writing this… But trust me.
There is an epidemic out there.
It's not EBOLA but single
ladies are going through this
daily. And it's how to be a
single mum and still hold your
head high in the face of school
fees, house rent, parental
demands, sibling
responsibilities, looking good,
career pursuit, peace of mind,
remain sexy and responsible,…
You may call me whatever…
But soon you will be wondering
why abandoned children are
flooding orphanage homes..
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